


A Better Man

by VonVarleys



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Apologies, Felix is held accountable, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentioned Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Racism, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26506930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VonVarleys/pseuds/VonVarleys
Summary: Dedue receives a long overdue apology, and he is under no obligation to accept it. Instead of forgiveness, Felix gets his work cut out for him.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	A Better Man

“Dedue.”

Dedue Molinaro turned around, already resigned to what came next. He recognized that voice. “You called me by my name this time. What do you want with me?”

“Hmph,” said Felix. “I came to apologize.”

“For what?” asked Dedue. There were several things Felix could be apologizing for; though Dedue had only spent one brief year with Felix at the officers’ academy at Garreg Mach, he still had many unpleasant memories of Dimitri’s former friend.

“For how I spoke to you when we were students. I was wrong to call you a dog. My quarrel was with the Boar, not with you. I should not have judged you for the way you lived back then. We were both young, and you did what you had to do to get by in Faerghus. Hateful country,” Felix added.

“Yes. You were wrong to speak to me that way. It was wrong and petty of you to take out those feelings on me. Is that all?” Dedue said. Dedue could have said more, about how Felix had reinforced everything he already knew about Faerghus’s nobility and how they treated men of Duscur. How Felix’s tormenting had made him retreat further into Dimitri’s protection and away from the other students. How he had started waking up with jaw aches at the academy, from grinding his teeth at night. He didn’t want to tell him, however. He didn’t want Felix to know he had that kind of power.

“I’m sorry,” said Felix.

Dedue looked down at Felix. “Why are you apologizing to me now?” he asked. 

“Because being here again reminded me of our school days. And because the more I see of the Boar in his present state, the more I see myself. Like I said, my quarrel is with him, not with you.”

“You weren’t the first man of Faerghus to call me a dog,” Dedue said. 

“I’m sorry,” said Felix. He didn’t meet Dedue’s gaze, instead looking down at his shoes. They were dusty, from the training grounds probably. Felix and his obsession with training disgusted Dedue. Even his show of guilt was repulsive. 

“If that was your only offense, I would ask you to leave now. But you say you see yourself in his highness. What about you is similar?” Dedue asked. Dealing with Felix was like battle. He’d have to draw the other side out before he could engage. 

“We’re both killers. We both carry our dead with us; they talk to him, but I can feel them too.” 

“You resent him for it,” said Dedue. “You still call him the Boar.” 

“I more than resent him,” said Felix. “He’s nothing more than a beast.”

“And you’re the same as him,” said Dedue. “What makes Faerghus a ‘hateful country’ to you?” 

“The Boar is a perfect image of Faerghus. Brutality masked beneath a veneer of chivalry and honor. And now the mask is off and we see him for what he truly is.” 

“You’re still talking about his highness. I asked you about Faerghus. I suppose you think they’re one and the same,” said Dedue. 

“I despise them both,” said Felix, “for the same reason: placing honor above sense and worshipping the dead. I’m sorry for calling you a dog. I’m not sorry for what I say about the Boar.”

“What about you? Do you think you’re better than that?” asked Dedue. 

Felix sighed. “No. But at least I can see it for what it is.” 

“That means nothing at all,” Dedue said. “I too find Faerghus abhorrent. We have that in common. We understand its violence. But what are you going to do about it? Are you going to be a better man than your country would ask of you?” 

“I’m a more honest man,” said Felix. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and still wouldn’t meet Dedue’s eyes. 

“That is insufficient,” said Dedue. “You could be a kinder man, a juster man, a man who strives to repair the wrongs done by his nation. And yet you never spare a kind word or deed for anyone. Instead, you choose to dedicate all your time to training yourself to kill. You are a more than capable soldier, and yet you can never get enough of the training grounds. You kill on behalf of a country you claim to loathe, and you revel in it. Knowing what you know of death, why is that?”

“I--” Felix started but Dedue cut him off. 

“I have no need to know your reasons. I only asked so that you would consider them. In the meantime, do not belittle others for what you have no desire to rectify in yourself. I kill too, in battle, but at least I know what I’m fighting for.” 

“What are you fighting for then?” asked Felix quietly. “If you hate Faerghus so much, why did you come back? Don’t tell me it was out of loyalty or for honor or some bullshit like that.” 

“I came back because this is the best chance I have to improve the lot of the people of Duscur. For myself and for my countrymen.” Dedue didn’t say the next part, that if Dimitri continued on his current path, Dedue’s dream would become much more difficult to achieve when the prince met his end. You couldn’t have paid him enough to tell all that to Felix. 

“Huh. How noble of you,” said Felix. His words were sarcastic, but Dedue could hear a deeper feeling tugging at his voice. Whatever. Years earlier, Dedue had pretended Felix’s words hadn’t gotten to him, hadn’t made Dedue feel more alone and afraid than he already was in a military school full of Faerghan nobles. Felix could handle a simple conversation. It was almost gratifying to see that Felix didn’t have the same capability of hiding his discomfort. 

“It isn’t nobility; it’s humanity. You call his highness a boar for killing without a reason. If you kill without a reason, what makes you more than a beast? That you know how vile it is only means you lack the excuse of ignorance,” said Dedue. 

“You’re saying I’m the dog,” said Felix. 

“If you know it, then be better.” It was a cheap blow, but Dedue couldn't help himself.

Felix sucked in his breath. “I will,” he said finally. 

“Good,” said Dedue. “Come talk to me again when you’re a better man than what Faerghus made you into. Not before that.”

“Alright,” said Felix. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “May I go then?” 

“I’m not your keeper,” said Dedue. 

“I have a lot to think about,” Felix said. “Bye,” he spat out. Then Felix turned and left, more quickly than Dedue was used to seeing him go. 

Dedue let out a deep breath. Was getting apologized to supposed to feel this exhausting, or was that just what it was like to be around Felix? Still, it was a relief to have gotten what he had to say off his chest. If Felix hadn’t changed at all in the past five years, then it was high time somebody told him he had to. Felix had been young back at the academy and full of grief, but the same was true of Dedue. He thought of his seventeen year old self, fresh off a growth spurt and still unused to his newfound height, timid and tense around his Faerghan classmates.  _ It’s ok now. He won’t bother you again _ . Dedue decided to take the long route to the greenhouse, and hoped he didn’t run into anyone else. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ever notice how Dedue never gets an apology from Felix? That bugged me, so I wrote one.


End file.
